Having lived in many towns and cities that make up the great state of Indiana, I'm incredibly proud to be a permanent citizen of Pawnee. This is a special city, and Leslie Knope is a special candidate. Not just special she's amazing. And wonderful, and brilliant. She might be the single greatest human being in the universe. How amazing is she? I entrusted her to write this bio for me, and I trust her so much I am not even going to read it before she puts it online. Vote for Leslie Knope!
April Ludgate Youth Outreach and Director of New Media
Hi, I'm April. I go to PCC at night and I live in Pawnee and whatever, that's enough about me.
It's my job to get all of you young folk involved and to show up at the polls. And since it's illegal to bribe you, I'll just say this. Almost all politicians and adults in general are stupid and pointless. Leslie isn't. She's cool. She'll like think about you and care about what happens to you even though she doesn't even know you and she'll take care of Pawnee and you can chill out and go back to your boring lives.
In my spare time, I enjoy nighttime and staring into mirrors.
What's up, Pawnee. Tommy Timberlake here entrepreneur, lady-lover, and Executive Shift Manager at the Pawnee Dream Factory.
When it comes to style, grace, elegance and character, I, Tom Haverford, know it when I see it. I was born with this gift. I can find the diamond in a giant pile of coal. I can look out into a sea of normal, boring, ugly people and find the one hottie amongst them. I'm like the guy from "A Beautiful Mind" except I'm not straight crazy.
And when I stare out into the pathetic crowd of Pawnee politicians, the one diamond I see is Leslie Knope.
There used to be a giant pit behind my house. It collected trash and homeless people, and for a while it collected my ex-boyfriend, who lived in a tent in the pit for like a month. Don't ask.
Every day, I'd look at it and think, "This sucks." I went to a public forum to complain, and that's when I met Leslie Knope. When I told her my problem, she didn't think of me as Ann Perkins, the complainer. She thought of me as Ann Perkins, the Pawneean with a problem. Not only did she quickly fill that pit behind my house, but she also filled the hole of friendship. That looks weird when I write it, but that's how I think of it.
Leslie Knope is my best friend, so I know she can be yours, too. Vote for Leslie!
When I was asked to be Leslie Knope's body man/security, I didn't have to think about it. Sometimes thinking is too hard. And that's when you go with your gut. My gut tells me two things: when I'm hungry, and that Leslie Knope is the best.
Could I take a bullet for Leslie? Yes. Will I? You tell me, punk!
I've been on the block long enough to know that actions speak louder than words. I cannot tell you how many times I've said, "I love you" to a man and knew, deep down in my heart, that I was lying just to get him to shut up. Leslie Knope acts on her words. To her, a promise is a promise.
So anytime you see my Benz rolling down the street, give us a wave and we'll stop by for a chat. But no touching. I don't care who you're voting for, nobody touches the Benz.
Leslie Knope has a wonderful soul and is made of truly great stuff. There isn't anyone I'd rather have on my team than her. Want to help her out? Come on down to Knope2012 headquarters, and I'll teach you how to stuff envelopes!!