We Need More Dog Parks

Off-leash dog parks will allow man's best friend the opportunity to satisfy his/her cravings for canine play and companionship. They will also allow me to greatly reduce the number of dog owners who call me, text me, show up to meetings and otherwise contact me to demand more play areas for their precious little pets. Some of the more... insistent dog park advocates in town have told me that research has shown that dogs improve people's health by lowering blood pressure. Opening a new dog park will lower mine. (I mean, I love dogs as much as the next person, but man, dog owners, take it down a notch.)