Emergency Evacuation Drills

When the Boone Bread Factory burned down in 1906, the smell of toast in the air was so strong that Pawneeans' need to find safety was overpowered by the urge to run toward the smell. Because of the multiple injuries that needlessly resulted from excited and hungry people rushing into a burning building, a new government standard was created for building evacuations.

Boone Bread Factory

Sadly, in the last hundred years, we've really let things slip, and now the official Pawnee City Mandate for disaster evacuations reads, simply, "Run, dummies." If you elect me to City Council, I will personally re-establish the Emergency Evacuation Drill Committee and get us back to where we need to be.

Just think about it - a massive earthqua-nado strikes (that's a 9.0 earthquake triggered by a dense collection of super tornadoes). What do you do? Do you go to the basement or other underground shelter? Do you seek the safety of a clear, open field? When my opponent Bobby Newport was asked what he would do in the case of a city-wide emergency, he replied - and I quote: "I'd probably call my dad. He's got a Maserati and like a billion dollars. So I'd be fine - don't worry about me."

Vote Knope, and I'll keep you safe during all emergencies, be they man-made, environmental or Eagletonian.